*AUTHOR'S NOTE:  Hey, hey, everyone! A second rough draft! Undoubtedly, there are still mistakes, but I think that most are fixed! Somethings have changed in this second edition, but, for those of you who have already read it, it's basically the same. Just a few additions here and there. For those of you who are slackers and haven't read it, it will be all new to you.

Please feel free to e-mail me, give me a comment, or seek me out otherwise with any questions, comments, or concerns.

As I stated previously, this does not mean I am quitting After Life, but I am going to take a break from it for a while. I need to do some research, and I have so much going on that it's a near impossibility to find much time to write. Hence, why it took me a month to write this story.

You are all awesome! I love you, and God bless!

Always,

Jared

In the Cold

          Adam dreams again. This dream has come before on many nights, and, just as he does now, he always awakes with a start, gasping for breath, with an intense cold settled in his bones. This night, he wakes up and, as he struggles to regain a normal breathing pattern, he sees the room is bathed in the pale silver of moonlight. She is standing at the open window. He pinches himself slightly, wondering what is going on. This has never been part of the dream before. He feels the slight pain as his skin bunches between his fingertips. He is not dreaming.

            "Kelly?" he whispers. She does not turn from the window. "Kelly!" he says now, louder as he awakens fully. "How...?" His voice trails off as he rises from the bed.

            "It's beautiful out tonight, lover. Don't you think?" she says, her soft voice filling the room with its silkiness. He approaches her slowly, not daring to blink, for fear that this impossibility will dissipate in that instant of blindness. She is framed by the light of the moon, giving her creamy white skin an ethereal glow. Her raven black hair cascades down to her shoulder blades. His heart clinches at the memory of the numerous times he ran his hands through it. She is wearing her favorite silver teddy—a comfortable satin thing he bought her one Valentine's Day that she always said was her favorite. He reaches out, fingers stretching, grazing the soft fabric. She is still standing with her back to him, and she's not saying anything anymore. His fingertips make contact with the curve of her shoulder, and then jerk back as the iciness of her skin shocks him. He shakes his head for a moment, and then touches her skin again. Solid. Real.

            "Kelly..." he says in an exhale of breath. Tears fill his eyes. She turns now, and her blue eyes are filled with cold venom.

            "Remember," she says, a harsh edge detectible in her sweet voice. She brushes past him, making her way to the bed. She lifts up the covers on her side of the bed, fluffs the pillow for a second, and then places it back down. She turns to look at him one more time, standing at the window in his favorite pajama pants she bought him on that same Valentine's Day. His eyes are filled with sadness. She turns away, and slides underneath the covers, sighing heavily.

            Adam turns his back to the form in the bed. He looks through the open window at the night sky. The stars are glittering, and the full moon bathes the world in a frigid beauty. Somewhere in the distance, a dog is barking. He wipes the tears from his eyes, and turns back around to the bed.

            She is gone. Her side is not unmade, still perfectly in place. Only on his side are the covers rolled back, a slight indention where his sleeping form lay only minutes ago.

***

             "Stupid, stupid, stupid," Adam said. He pounded his fist on the steering wheel. He had been driving for over an hour with no place in particular to go. Just as long as he was out of that house. They had been fighting again. How do I always manage to screw things up? Adam wondered to himself. Maybe he should go back and try to talk to her some more. Maybe he should... Adam cursed and swung the car around, and the driver behind him showed his appreciation by honking loudly and throwing his middle finger up in the air.

            "Yeah, same to you, buddy," Adam said as he sped back to the house.

            As he approached the door, he felt the ice of dread in his stomach. He never knew how to apologize properly. He knew he needed to try, though. He didn't deserve a girl like Kelly, and he needed to fight hard to keep her. He opened the door slowly. As he walked in, he thought about getting flowers and candy later, and possibly taking her out to dinner. Hopefully, that would help him settle things a little more.

            "Kel!" he called. "Kel, listen, I'm sorry!" She didn't answer. He started to the end of the hall, where their bedroom door stood open. "Kel, don't be like this, please. You know how stupid I am sometimes! I'm sorry," he said as he walked in the room. Kelly was lying on the bed, appearing to be asleep. On the bedside table was a bottle of water, and in her hand she clutched an open bottle of pills. He could hear her breathing hoarsely. Her eyes fluttered and her gaze traveled to him, yet she seemed to be looking through him. What he saw in the core of that stare frightened him. She was letting go. Her head rolled over to the side, and she closed her eyes. He was dumbfounded by the sight, and it took him a moment before he even realized his brain was screaming at his legs to move so he could help. He ran forward and picked her up in his arms.

            "Oh no, oh no, oh no," he repeated as he felt her body lying limply in his arms. His heartbeat raced wildly in his chest. He carried her through the door and into the hall bathroom. He laid her gently next to the toilet, and leaned her head over the seat so that she could throw up. "Kelly, c'mon, you can't do this! You have to get rid of them! C'mon! Kelly, please! I love you! Please! C'mon!" he cried, his voice filled with panic, fear, and grief. Her body heaved, but nothing came up. He pried open her mouth, and stuck his fingers to the back of her throat. Her eyes flew open as the gag reflex kicked in, and he removed his fingers quickly as she began to vomit. Her hands slid around the bowl for a moment, as if she was not quite sure what to do, before clutching the edge of the seat tightly. She finished soon, and Adam caught her as she fell back to the floor. He wiped her hair away from her face. She stared blankly at him. He laid her head gently to the cold tile, and then ran to the kitchen. He called the hospital, and was promised that an ambulance would be there within moments.

***

            Adam sits on the edge of his bed. He is unable to sleep now. Thoughts race through his mind, and he finds himself unable to answer the one question they seem to be asking. How did she get here? He glances out the window, past the flowing curtains, to the bright full moon. Its light has made the room glow in an eerily unsettling way. Shadows have retreated to the places underneath the furniture and to the corners of the room. He stares into that darkness, contemplating. As he is thinking, he feels the bed shift, and the noise of someone moving on the other side of the bed escalates his heartbeat. He does not turn around. A cold hand slides over his bare shoulder and rests across his chest. She leans forward and rests her chin on that shoulder.

            “It’s a night like this when sleeping becomes nearly impossible. Sometimes, you just need the company,” she says lightly into his ear. He does not move or respond, just feels the chill of her skin on his.

Finally, after moments of silence, he manages to whisper, “How are you here?”

            “I’ve always been here, my darling,” is all she says. Then her head moves, and her hand slides back across his chest, and then he no longer feels the bitter chill of her body near his. He slowly turns and sees that her side of the bed is empty, as if no one had been there at all.

***

Adam felt like he’d been in the hospital forever. He knew it could only have been two hours at most, but in that span of time, years could have past. He just wanted to know more about her. What are they doing to her? Is she going to be okay? Frustrated thoughts were racing through his head, and no one was there to answer. He sat with his head in his hands and cried.

The day they’d met, he was bagging groceries. He worked at Roger’s Grocery, a locally-owned store that, according to the townspeople, sold the best chicken wings in the world. Two people had called off that day, so there were only two people left to bag groceries. All day long, Adam and his friend, Rick, had been rushing around to fill the peoples’ grocery bags, and the exhaustion was beginning to get to him. He reluctantly walked to the last check out lane, where a younger woman was buying some of the legendary chicken. She stopped as he handed her the bag and smiled. He returned the smile, and then started to wander off to another aisle. She put out her hand as if she wanted him to stop and he slowed.

“Umm…” she said. Adam waited for a moment, studying the girl. When she didn’t say anything, he smiled again and he started to walk off again. “Is this chicken really as good as everyone says?” she finally asked.

“I’m sorry?” he retorted politely.

“Well, it’s just that you hear so much about it, and I wondered if there was any truth to the legend.”
            “Personally, I’d choose my grandma’s over that, but it’s still pretty good.”

“Oh. I guess that’s…good.”

“Yeah.”

And that had been the end of the conversation. She left that day, and he did not think about her anymore. Until she returned a couple of days later. He saw her walking to the lane he was bagging groceries in, and he smiled when she stopped to receive her bag.

“How was the chicken?” he asked. She smiled.

“I didn’t think you’d remember me. I think my grandma’s is better, too, but I wasn’t really complaining.”

“I see you didn’t return for more today, though.”

“No, just needed some soda for dinner.”

“Ah, sounds good. Anything interesting on the menu?”

Before she could answer, the cashier, turned around. “Adam! It’s nice that you are actually getting a social life, but you can pick elsewhere to do it! These groceries aren’t gonna bag themselves!”

Adam turned slightly red, and mumbled an apology. He looked back to the girl.

“Well…have a nice day.”

“It’s Kelly.”

“What?”

“You paused, like you wanted to say my name. I haven’t ever mentioned it. I’m Kelly.”

“Oh, I’m Adam.”

“Nice to…know your name.”

The cashier turned around with a scowl and opened her mouth to say something else.

“Okay, Linda!” Adam said. She turned back around.

“Well, I’ll see you later, then,” Kelly said, and turned away.

Conversations like this continued for the next month. She would come in, buy an item or two, and they would make some small chat until he went back to work. Then one day, she came right up to him as she entered the store.

“I’ve run out of things to buy,” she said, as he put a frozen pizza into a bag for a woman with two small children.

“Well, I hear that milk’s always in demand,” he said.

“No. I mean, I can’t keep coming in here to buy things, coming to your aisle, and hoping you’ll ask me out.”

Adam nearly dropped the carton of eggs, but was thankful he didn’t, since his manager tended to frown upon those kinds of incidents. “Wh-What?”

“I’ve been coming here for nearly a month, sending every signal Cosmopolitan ever thought up, and all you did was smile and talk. I’m not complaining, because I like it when you smile, but I wanted you to say that we should go out. I’m tired of waiting, and also tired of buying things I don’t need. So, tell me, can we go out?”

Adam just stared at her for a moment. His mouth moved, but speech was failing him. Finally, a reply managed to stumble across his lips. “Yes,” he said.

“Oh, good. Now I don’t feel so dumb. Does Friday sound okay?”

“Sure.”

“Alright. I took the liberty of writing my number down. You can call me whenever you want to. I look forward to it,” she said. He took the paper in his hands and stared at the large, loopy cursive she wrote her name in. He looked back at her. She smiled again, this time a little more shyly than all the times before, and then she turned and walked back out of the store. Adam watched her walk away with a slight smile. The girl really was beautiful, but what had he gotten himself into?

It had been nearly four years since that day. Now, Adam was not even sure if he knew that girl anymore. That straightforward beauty that had left the grocery store that day had disappeared. Adam knew that these years had taken their toll on Kelly. The loss of parents in a car wrack had been devastating to her, and she had receded into herself. She no longer found joy in all of the things they used to do. He had tried desperately to find the girl that had stolen his heart that first year. She was gone, replaced by this shell of a woman. She had been going to see a psychologist to try and work her way through her problems, while Adam found more and more excuses to lose himself in his work (he had traded in his grocery store uniform for semi-formal attire and a corporate office with his name on it).  Despite the fact that she could no longer express herself to him the way she used to, she still needed him around. He was the one thing that had stayed in her life, and he was a comfort to her.

These years had been rough on Adam, too.  All they seemed to do was argue. She wanted more, and Adam was slowly trying to ease his way out of the relationship. He just could not tell how he felt any longer. He had tried to explain things to her that morning, and the fight had followed. Adam had told her that it was over, and then stormed out of the house. He knew she loved him, and he loved her, too, but he just did not believe it could work anymore. So, he had left this morning, both of them crying. Now, she had done something terrible to herself, and he could not help but to blame himself. If he hadn’t been so stubborn and so brainless, she would have never done this. He realized in these moments how much he did love her, and that he never meant it when he said it was over. He was only irritated because he did not know how to make things work like they used to. When this is all over, he thought, I’ll find a ring. Maybe then she would open up to him again, and he would feel less lonely in their relationship.

He was still reflecting when the doctor approached him. Adam’s heart froze in his chest, and, for a moment, it seemed as if the entire world followed suit. Nothing existed but that very moment. Then, the doctor was standing before him, Adam staring up with a look of terror on his face. The doctor smiled.

“She’s going to be fine. We managed to pump the remainder of the pills out of her stomach, and, if anything made it into her system, it won’t be enough to hurt her. She’s asleep now, and probably won’t wake until tomorrow, so we are going to keep her overnight. If you want, you can go and see her.”

Adam jumped up from his seat and found his way to her room. She was laying there, her black hair spread all over the pillow. She was pale; her closed eyes seemed to be sunken into her skull. He ignored her pitiful state, however, and just watched the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest. With overwhelming joy, he thought, She’s alive!

***

            Adam lies back down in the bed. His arms are folded behind his head, and he stares at the ceiling, but he does not really see it. He is somewhere else, lost in his thoughts. She rolls over, and places her head on his bare chest. He jerks slightly as his muscles contract at the shock of her touch.

            “It would have been enough,” she whispers quietly. She raises her head and looks into his eyes. The harsh anger she held in her eyes earlier is no longer there; instead, she has a look of grief and longing.

            “Would it?” Adam asks. She moves her eyes away from his gaze. She rises from the bed, and goes to the door.

            “We’ll never find out,” she says, and walks out.

***

            When he brought her home from the hospital, he did everything he could to make her feel more than at home. He made her favorite meals, rented any movie she wanted to see, took her shopping, bought any book she wanted (even reading to her on occasions), and played all of her CDs on the stereo. He just wanted to see her smile, and she finally seemed to be content with everything.

One night, after putting down The Catcher in the Rye so Kelly could sleep, she grabbed his hand.

            “Thank you,” she said.

            “Oh, it’s nothing. You know I love The Catcher in the Rye. I have been trying to get you to read it since the second week we started dating.”

            “No, I mean, for doing all of this. Not many people would like to stay around people like me. I know you said you wanted to leave, and I don’t blame you…”

            “Hey,” Adam said, kissing her forehead, “I’m not leaving you. I realized exactly how much I can’t stay away the moment I thought I’d lost you.”

            Kelly smiled weakly. “You’re a prince,” she said. He grinned, and then left her alone to sleep.

            She showed signs of improving throughout the weeks following her attempted suicide. Her doctor had subscribed her some anti-depressants, and her mood seemed to be lightened. Adam began to get over his feeling of anxiety every time she was out of sight, and the world finally seemed to revert to a normal state. After about a month, Adam began looking in jewelry shops for a ring. He could not decide on one in particular, so he decided he would take Kelly to a shop and let her look around. Later he would return to buy whichever one she seemed to eye the most.

            When he got home, he walked to the bedroom. She wasn’t on the bed, so he made his way toward the living room. As he passed by the bathroom, he heard a slight whimpering noise. He put his ear to the door. It sounded like crying.

            “Kelly!” he called. From inside, the noise stopped.

            “Adam?” came her reply, shaking slightly.

            “Are you okay?”

            “Yeah, honey, I’ll be out in a minute!” she called. He could tell she was lying.

            “Can I come in? I’ve…I’ve got something to tell you!”

            “Oh, um, just give me a couple of minutes and I’ll be out!”

            “But, this is important!”

            “Just one minute, and I’ll be right there! Promise!” Something about her voice was nervous now.

            “Kelly! Kelly, open the door!”

            “But…”

            “Open the door!” He began to twist the knob, but it was locked. He slammed his shoulder into it, and the door burst open. Kelly screamed. She was sitting in the floor, with a cloth to her side. She was bleeding. In the floor was a small knife.

            “What is going on?!” he screamed. She just looked at him with tears in her eyes, and then hung her head.

            “I’m sorry. I just wanted to make it stop.”

            “Wanted what to stop?! What did you do?!” He grabbed her arm and jerked her to her feet. He knocked her arm from her side and saw she had several shallow cuts. She was sobbing now. She reached out to grab his hand. He drew back and looked into her face with disgust.

            “Have you been taking your pills?” he asked coldly.

            “Yes! I mean, I was. But, I stopped. I thought I was okay. I was fine. I thought if I could go a week without getting sad, then I would be fine. I was trying. I’m sorry. Adam, I don’t know what to do…help me.” He stared at her, his gaze hard. Suddenly, he slapped her. She cried out as she fell to the floor.

            “Don’t you ever to this again! You understand me?!” He grabbed her pills out of the medicine cabinet and threw them at her. “Take them! Now!”

            She clutched at the bottle, crying. She curled into a fetal position on the floor, her blood streaking across the tile. Adam looked at her there, as she cried, and felt whatever rage in him leaving. He slowly bent to the floor beside her.

            “Kel, I’m sorry. I overreacted. I’m just scared,” he said softly. He reached for her hand.

            “No! Get away from me!” she screamed. She slapped his arm.

            “Kel, please,” he said, a tremor in his voice as his tears brimmed. He reached out to hold her.

            “Get away from me!” she shrieked. She slapped at him again, and the rolled away from him. She held her arms over her stomach, and cried with her face to the floor. Adam just sat on the tile, arms wrapped around his knees. His lip trembled, and as his tears began to fall, he rested his head upon his arms.

            “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

***

            Adam has returned to the window. He is unable to sleep still, and he is staring into the outside world. The light will be steadily creeping into the sky soon, piercing the darkness to the east and then spreading with the dawn. He is looking at the sky again, and those beautiful stars, whose lives were extinguished millions of years ago, yet still shine, eternally burning candles in the vast night sky. The breeze blows in the window, and Adam feels the cold in the night air.

            “I wonder what it would be like to be up there. In the cold…in the black,” he says. He never turns to see if she is there; he recognizes the chill of her presence.

            “I’d say it’s something like death: cold, eternal,” she says.

            “That’s grim.”

            “I guess so,” she says.

              The silence fills the room for a few moments. Adam can feel her standing behind him. He turns head slightly, glancing down at the floor, and closes his eyes. He loses the world for a moment, and just feels her there. Then he raises his head back to the window.

            “Do you have to go soon?” he asks simply.

            “That’s really up to you, love,” she says.

            “What do you mean it’s up to me?”

            “I think you know.”

            “No, I don’t. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have asked.”

            “Adam, Adam, Adam, you’re so tense,” she says, crossing the remaining feet between them. She slides her hands over his shoulders, and begins to massage them lightly. Adam sighs, and then leans into her. He does not care about the cold anymore; he just wants her to stay. Suddenly, her grip tightens, and she whirls him around. He looks shocked for a second, and then she is pushing him to the bed. She throws him down and begins to kiss him. His eyes widen with the stun of her lips on his. He tries to push her away, but she will not let him go. His body begins to fill with ice, and he is having trouble breathing. His body thrashes beneath hers as he struggles to free himself from her. His lungs are frozen, no longer willing themselves to move. He cannot breathe. White sparks blaze in his vision, and he begins to lose all feeling in his body. His thrashes slow, and as he slips into oblivion, Kelly repeats, “Remember.”

***

            “You always find me here,” Kelly said quietly as Adam approached her from behind.

            “You told me the second week we were dating that you love this spot in the country. You said you would come out here to visit your aunt when you were a little girl, and it always made you feel…complete,” he said, the last word coming out as a whisper. “I remember when we used to come out here to get away for a few days that first year and a half.”

            “I just love it here, you know? It’s absolute nature. Just the wind in the trees. No cars, no sirens, no phones—nothing. And, listen. Do you hear the frogs singing? It’s just so freeing, to be able to think clearly,” she said, her voice sounding as if she were far away from this place. Adam just stood still behind her, watching her. She was sitting with her arms around her knees. Her head was tilted up towards the sky, eyes closed. Her midnight colored hair was tossed to the side, and her neck was exposed. Adam felt the overwhelming urge to hold her. He slowly settled to the ground, and slid his arm around her shoulder. She leaned her head into him, and opened her eyes.

            “Adam, I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’ll go back to my doctor and see if there’s something else I can take, or if I can increase my dosage. I’m sorry. I wasn’t ever going to try and kill myself again. I just…whenever I would cut myself, it was like, everything was taken care of. All of the bad things in my life would just float away. There was pain for a moment, but it saved me from that pain that I was feeling all day long. I…knew it was wrong, but I couldn’t help it. I am going to make it all better, though. And then we can get married, and I’ll be happy. And you’ll be happy, too. Right?”

            Adam was silent for a moment, then: “Kel, baby, I’m sorry. I just wish there was something else I could do.”

            “It’s okay; you shouldn’t worry about it anymore. I’ll call my doctor tomorrow and see if he can fit me in for an appointment sooner, and this will all get cleared up.”

            “I don’t know if it can. I mean, I know that you are suffering. Things have been made too hard on you, and it’s not fair. So, I’m going to fix it, and everything’s going to be fine. You’ll be happier, I know it,” he said, more to himself than to her.

            “What are you talking about?” she asked, bewildered.  

            “Can I just ask you one thing?”

            “Adam…what are you—yes, what?”   

            “Please…don’t scream,” he said quietly.

            “What do you—” she started, but she was cut short when Adam grabbed her bared neck. Her eyes widened in shock. She gasped for breath, and she started pounding on Adam’s arms, struggling to get free. Adam felt tears brim, and his breaths came in uneven gasps as he started to cry at the sight of her beautiful, pale face reddening. Suddenly, she slammed her fists down into his arms with all of her strength, and his grip faltered. She managed to slide out of his hands, and she breathed in deeply. She turned and crawled away, screaming for help. Adam grabbed for her, but she kicked her foot out, connecting with Adam’s stomach and knocking the air out of his body. He fell back to the ground as she struggled to stand. Adam scrambled up and raced towards her. She tried to run, but he tackled her to the ground. He rolled over on top of her.

            “Adam! No, please don’t!” she cried, but he slammed his hands into her throat. She tried to cry out again, but could only gasp for air. She started to claw at his arms again, but he was holding on too tightly. She managed to knee him in the groin, and with a loud cry he rolled off of her. She started to get up again, but he grabbed her ankle, causing her to fall face-first to the ground. Her nose cracked, and she felt warm blood trickle out. Adam got up and kicked her to the water’s edge. She tried to get up again, but Adam kicked her once more. She yelped in pain, and Adam reached for her. She slapped at him, still trying to fight, but she was weakening with imminent defeat. He pushed her into the water, and then stepped in himself. The shock of the cold made him gasp, but he only hesitated for a moment. He grabbed Kelly’s shirt, pulling her up to his face. Her eyes were filled with terror. It broke his heart to see her so afraid of him, yet he knew what he had to do.           

“I love you,” he said quietly.

            “Adam…please,” she sobbed. He just stared at her sadly, the tears falling freely from his eyes, and lowered her to the water.  “NO!” she screamed, but her cries were cut short, swallowed by the water. The water churned as she thrashed violently underneath the water, fighting to free herself from Adam. Her blows grew increasingly wild, hitting Adam wherever she could make contact, but they were weak as her life slipped away. The water moved less and less, and eventually her arms stopped swinging. He felt all of the movement in her body stop, and he knew that it was over. He pulled her body from beneath the surface. Adam leaned forward, and felt no short gasps of breath coming from her parted lips. Her ice blue eyes now stared up at the night sky that she loved, yet he knew she wasn’t seeing it anymore. She was somewhere beyond it.

            Adam was back within an hour. He had dragged her body into the woods, and hid her there among the shadows in the tree. He knew it was stupid, but it was the only thing he could think of to do. He returned to the lake in a panic, and rushed to the place where he had left her. Her body was where it he had left it, splayed grotesquely in the dense underbrush. Adam felt a sudden pain in his chest at the sight of her. His mind was suddenly filled with the vision of her smiling face. It was the day they went to the park, and…You don’t have time for this, you have to hurry! he thought to himself, pushing all surfacing memories of her to the back of his brain. He began to do his work as quickly as possible. He dragged her body to the boat he had quietly stolen from a nearby cabin, and then he set off for the darker side of the lake. As he neared his destination, he set the paddles inside, letting the boat glide smoothly to the spot. He then set to work on the body. His stomach was twisting in knots as he bound her to the chains, and he continually felt the rise of bile in the back of his throat. Yet he knew he had to keep it down; that type of thing could be traced. He would stop momentarily every now and then to relax, and then go back to work. Soon, he was finished.

            He had wrapped her body up in chains and then fastened them to two cinderblocks. He reached for her sides and started to cry as he felt how cold her body was. He looked at her beautiful face one last time, drinking in every feature. He allowed those memories to surface, and he gently kissed her forehead.

            “This was all for the best, baby. I love you,” he whispered, and then he carefully dropped her into the water. With a splash that seemed to thunder in the silence of the night, her body was gone.

            Adam returned the boat shortly afterwards, and then went back to his car. He had changed clothes, throwing his old ones into the water in a bag weighted down by a third cinderblock. No one would ever know.

 He took one last look at the lake. The area was barely illuminated by the moonlight, and the water mirrored the night sky. Adam shivered as he stared into that water, knowing what laid in the dark and deep. One last tear rolled down his cheek before he turned the car around and headed home without a backward glance.  

            The following afternoon, Adam called the police to report that his girlfriend had never come home.

***

            “It was perfect, wasn’t it? That night you killed me?” Kelly says. Adam has regained his consciousness, and he sits up in bed.

            “Get out,” he says fiercely.

            “Oh, Adam, like I said, you’re too tense!”

            “This isn’t real! You aren’t real!”

            “Well, you’re partly right.”

            “Just shut up! Stop it!” He moves away from the bed, not looking at her. He hesitates in front of it, unsure where to go. She moves from the bed, and steps in front of him.

            “You know what you have to do, right?”

            “Please, just go away,” Adam says quietly. He is crying again.

            “Adam…”

            “I don’t have to do anything for you! You’re nothing! You’re not real!”

            “Listen to me, I am very real, and if y— ”

            “I KILLED YOU!” he screams. Kelly stops for a moment, as if she is taken aback. Adam puts his hands up to his head. “I killed you, I killed you, I killed you.”

            Kelly puts her cold arms around him. “I know. But, I’m still here, aren’t I? Every day and every night I’m here.” She places one hand onto his forehead.

            “I…I just wanted you to feel better. You were in pain. I wanted you to be happier. I wanted to give you that.”

            “Adam…people solve their problems. They don’t kill them!”

            “But…you just needed…I loved you, and I wanted you to be better off. I knew that if…” He chokes on his sobs, and can no longer speak. He falls down to his knees, and Kelly’s eyes fill with a loving concern. She places one hand to his cheek, and lifts his face up.

            “Sweety, it’s okay. I forgive you. I understand what you meant to do. But, you have to do something now. That way, you can forgive yourself, and you won’t live with the pain that you do everyday. After it’s over, everything will get better. There’ll be no more pain, and you’ll be happier. I promise.”

            Adam does not say anything. He lies in the floor, his body convulsing with silent sobs. She leans down and holds him while he cries. Finally, he lifts his head and looks her in the eye.

            “Okay,” he says with quiet defeat. “I’ll do it.”

            Adam walks through the double doors, and glances around nervously. He knows what he has to do, but he fears doing it. He approaches slowly, his brain screaming for him to stop, that he shouldn’t be doing this. He reaches the desk and the man looks up.

            “Can I help you, sir?” the policeman asks.

            “Yes…um, I...need to make a confession. I killed someone. She’s in the lake. She’s been there…for three months. I can tell you how to get there, I just...” Adam stops talking and stares down at the floor.

            The policeman stares at him hard for a moment, before he finally says, “Okay, son, I’m going to take you to the back to ask you a few questions. I’ll call your lawyer if you need him and—”

            “No. No, I don’t need my lawyer,” Adam says quietly.

            “Okay, well, come with me, please.”

            “Yes, sir.”

            As Adam starts to follow the man towards the back of the police station, he feels a cold hand grab his shoulder. He turns, and sees Kelly standing there, still in her silver teddy.

            “It’s okay. Everything will be better here,” she says tenderly. Adam nods solemnly and follows the policeman to the back.